would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
