I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
