We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
