One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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