She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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