we're blogging at a bar
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
