:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
