Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
