i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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