So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
You need a sexual gate keeper
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
