there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
