What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
