I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
