At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
