so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
