Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
