and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
