i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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