To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
i drank out of a bidet.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
