Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
