The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
