tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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