so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
We're too hungover to prance.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
