so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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