Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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