dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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