The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
