We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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