I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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