you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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