Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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