Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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