Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
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