if i died would you start the facebook group?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
This is my gift to your gina
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
