only if we run a train.
done.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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