is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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