Yo dont text me then not text me
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
We were destined to go to rehab together
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Randomize
