Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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