My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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