I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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