yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
my shit smells like andre
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
Randomize
