You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
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