But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
