And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize