break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize