love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
