so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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