i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
