She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
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