what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
