There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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