What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
