Small penises have feelings too.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
