Pappa wants mamma naked
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
