The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
