idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Randomize
