dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
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