U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
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