You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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