i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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