I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Randomize
