well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
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