hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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