he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I love having hate sex.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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